Romps' Journal - How to be more like me

the good morning of the fellow,
I work on to organize of board meeting. missions million and one which I ignore. but it seems that progessing of thing one way or another. I hope that the division of human resources will be connected I soon about the letter of proposal, but I am nervous [o] I eat too. I never discussed salary, only hourly wage. I guess it' s a similar.

I must go for the encounter on the office Of [maykrosoft] 2007. date not almost 2010? I you love much. write back soon, rebecca
xoxoxo

listening to beastie boys and wearing little retro hats to the office.

good heavens! i am on a see-saw between being extremely freaked out about doing well at my job and wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible. i want to find that sweet spot where i do what i want to do without anxiety, be that to excel, to quit, or to just do enough to keep the paycheques coming while i get on with my life.

"Action is at bottom a swinging and flailing of the arms to regain one's balance and keep afloat." E.Hoffer

i got to work at 11:30. only three hours late. part of me gets stressed out about being late while another part basks in my triumph over linear time and obligation to the Man.

"By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day." R.Frost

My weekend was far too exciting, along with a Calvern family dinner on Saturday and Benjamin's nerdissage at The Comic Book Shop on Sunday, partying at SAW's Sketch fundraiser on Friday night may have been too much for my bruised brain. I did buy an amazing piece of crocheted art called Ants on a Log; Positive, Negative, Colour for allison, and some cute robots by Benjamin, also to be gifted. Looking at all those artists making $ by applying their talents (Benjamin earning Benjamins) was inspiring.

"baby you must understand
i can't work a nine to five
so i'll be gone
til' november."
Wyclef Jean; Terence Kelly; Harvey Ostin

Dinner at Poke'em Thai on Sunday before the art gala with George, Kira-Lynn, Benjamin, Magalie, and allison was the most relaxed, enjoyable, and delicious meal I have had in a restaurant in years. The conversation was easy and genuine, there were no moments of awkwardness, the event had the kind of elegance that is so subtle as to pass unnoticed. Thank you to allison who masterminded the genius gathering, to George who generously and elegantly picked up the bill, and the participants who I could not possibly love any more, even if they transformed into child cats whose fluff I could squeeze for hours (kira-lynn is already a child cat (lion)).

Current Music: Gone Til November - Wyclef Jean

fact: if you don't like these facts and lies (and if you do), the presiding body encourages you to write your own.
lies #1: "merry christmas"
fact: 'as a white person, i expect you to share and return my sentiment; when you don't i intend to imply that you're an asshole.'
lies #2: the weekend
fact: there will be a day and then maybe another day
lies #3: punctuality
fact: time is elastic (except north america)
lies #4: we all get some time off in december
fact: "done your shopping yet? coming to the office xmas party?"
lies #5: "going home for xmas?"
fact: this is where i live
lies #6: i am home




does preceding a hyperbole with "maybe" cancel out the loss of credibility exaggeration brings, or does it water down some already crappy writing?

i haven't eaten one since 1997, but i remember.



i remember.

wow, also from the same Wikipedia is this awesomeness:

"Hoffer was a young man when his father, a cabinetmaker, died. The cabinetmaker's union paid for the funeral and gave Hoffer a little over three hundred dollars. Sensing that warm Los Angeles was the best place for a poor man, Hoffer took a bus there in 1920. He spent the next 10 years on Los Angeles' skid row, reading, occasionally writing, and working odd jobs. On one such job, selling oranges door-to-door, he discovered he was a natural salesman and could easily make good money. Uncomfortable with this discovery, he quit after one day."


No wonder I like this dude.

He suggests in his book The True Believe that it is possible to head off the rise of an undesirable mass movement by substituting a benign mass movement, which will give those prone to joining movements an outlet for their insecurities. I'm adding it to my reading list.

you know those days when you wish all the stupid humans were either dead or much, much less awful? wishing the latter will get you nowhere, you have to dream the possible if you want it to come true.

that is another thing. do you want to dream or do you want your dreams to come true? make up your mind!

We have perhaps a natural fear of ends. We would rather be always on the way than arrive. Given the means, we hang on to them and often forget the ends. -Eric Hoffer

i'm obviously in a terrible mood. i'm trying to enjoy things anyway. i'll treat you to some wikipedia about Eric instead of griping further about things like the lack of poutine on carleton campus.

When he was age five, his mother fell down a flight of stairs with Eric in her arms. Hoffer went blind for unknown medical reasons two years later, but later in life he said he thought it might have been due to trauma. ("I lost my sight at the age of seven. Two years before, my mother and I fell down a flight of stairs. She did not recover and died in that second year after the fall.I lost my sight and for a time my memory").[5] After his mother's death he was raised by a live-in relative or servant, a German woman named Martha. His eyesight inexplicably returned when he was 15. Fearing he would again go blind, he seized upon the opportunity to read as much as he could for as long as he could. His eyesight remained, and Hoffer never abandoned his habit of voracious reading.

avocado sandwiches

i'm not saying you have to, but if you want to, get 2 small fresh white rolls from Lusa bakery or another equally reputable establishment.
cut the buns and an avocado open with a knife and squeeze one half of the avocado into each bun.
shake on salt and pepper.

if you make these on a napkin, the only dish you have to wash is the knife.




old year resolution: i won't quit my job until next year

i am not sure if i can do anything today.

i'm going to go for it anyway.

i already took a shower....hey!

me: i got a new planner last night
frédéric: wow
frédéric: fresh planning
me: yeah it only starts on jan 1, but i converted nov and dec to 2009 so i can use it right away
me: i think i have an unhealthy relationship with planning
frédéric: you re an executive ass
you love planning
me: yes i do, but is it ok to love planning? who knows.
frédéric: someone s gota do it

"Fourth. Every morning, as soon as the sun rises, let all the bells in every church be set ringing; and if that is not sufficient?, let cannon be fired in every street, to wake the sluggards effectually, and make them open their eyes to see their true interest."

WHAT THE HELL Benjamin Franklin, WHAT THE HELL?

Humans used to sleep until NOON? and you convinced them they should do daylight savings instead?!?

This is what we get for innovating and expanding! Now we have to feel bad for sleeping in and pay penalties for having shutters on our windows.

The little envious minds might not believe that you invented the sun, Benjamin Franklin, but they may give you credit for inventing being a forward-thinking outward-thrusting status-quo-messing asshole.

Current Mood: Screw innovation

i just scandalized my workplace with some frank discussion on procreation. some people blushed and left when i argued that not having children reduces my eco-footprint by a minimum of 50%. three men stayed and tried to tell me the population needs to grow to sustain the economy. i said that growing the population to maintain the status quo is a fallacy: because humans are living by driving hundreds of species to extinction every day, no status quo is ever going to be possible. we will have to find a new way to live either way. i got alejandro's goat when he tied his argument in with the plot of children of men, and i said "i took that movie to be fiction," and everyone laughed. he threw up his hands when i asked him to stop assuming that human survival is the ideal outcome.

it was kind of fun, but i feel like some people here dislike me now.

Frédéric just showed me this hilarious website which features this quote, mentioning our popular Theme of the Week (jobs - quit 'em?):

"That's why natural disasters kick so much ass. You never really know when they're going to hit, so you might as well let go and stop being such a scared pussy all the time. You'll cross the bridge of death when you get to it. Time to start taking risks, asshole! Quit your job. Quit answering your boss' calls during your time off. Go do something with your life. Jesus! "

In other news, I did a little bit of work today and I am a lot less freaked out than last week. I think it is mainly due to visiting Benjamin's kittens.

DOUBLE HEAD!!

I'm going back for more tonight. Oh gosh.

Wow my clothes look really great today.

Silk white on white striped Chagall blouse with silver thread and 3" pointed collar
Guess strapless bustier with gold snaps
Smart Set (aka Slim Jim's) black on black striped pant suit with silver rimmed buttons in matching fabric
Matching gold and jade ring and lasso necklace from my grandmother's collection
Cat hair from a morning cuddle with Sparkle

I fee like i am invincibly ensonced behind my desk with my suit jacket shoulders and my huge silk collar and giant piles of paperwork about which I am doing nothing writing in my livejournal.  I might not be working today but I really look like I am, which is most if not all of the battle.

How is your job today?  If you are retired, was it worth working in your youth, or do you wish you had just quit and done what you wanted then?  [I should ask this question somewhere other than the internet (that's the one with email, right?)]

as we were leaving the house, Kira-Lynn noted my hat and gloves, and asked if she would need some as well.

no, it's not that cold out, i explained, i'm just...prissy.

and then i laughed, because i had never thought that out before but it is patently obvious.

i looked up prissy just now on an online dictionary and the "shopping: related products" featured a leather shoe WHICH I OWN.  even the internet knew i was prissy before i did.

another example of: the internet is not anything

these suit pants pinch my crotch and my brain feels like slush.

work is the one thing i can't just put aside and forget about until i'm better.

otherwise, i would be collecting hibberts in lego star wars on nintendo ds right now, or watching how it's made in a richly blanketed manner.  i'm so bored of doing nothing but anything else is quite tricky.

i feel rubbery and ineffectual, overwhelmed and teary, eager to run away and hide in a richly blanketed cave.

i went for a walk just now to "get some air" (cry) and the sun is so warm, i could feel it through my clothes.  it took all of my effort not to lie down on the nearest patch of grass and go to sleep.

how come so much of life is not doing what we want?  how are we fooled?  who is free?

working every day was a struggle without a head injury.

it's nothing terribly serious what happened to me, but it adds an extra layer of difficulty, and removes a layer of motivation - many tasks that can be approached as fun without a headache become super annoying with a headache

my grip on employment was tenuous to begin with.

i might get a better handle on it as time wears on and my head does its final bit of healing.

i am curious to see how loosely i can hold on to the reins of this job and still remain employed.  it is not in my nature to let go but i have been learning some pharmaceutical lessons these past few days.  many things are possible without tension, without grip. 

i got a little bit concussed on wednesday on my way home from work.  my boyfriend has already sworn to avenge me against the slippery leaves that caused my fall.

special shout-outs to patrick joe and philip, some blokes who hit the scene with mad kindness and coordination, keeping me warm and first aided and directing the ambulance to find me on the bike path.

mondo shout-outs to carlin and little girl toast who assisted in a huge way: hit the scene in no time, rode ambulances and bicycles to where they needed to go, hung out in the terrible observation wing of the hopital for hours and hours, followed my gurney to scary places like the "CT Scan Suite" (sounds a lot nicer than it is), apple juiced me, and amazingly kept my spirits alive during a night they had not planned to spend that way.  also, carlin had to wake me up every two hours for the first 24 hours, and she set and reset her alarm to be able to do it.  SO NICE!

super thanks to the paramedics who did lots of super scary stuff like strapping me to a board with 50 seatbelts and taping my head to a styrofoam block, but then explained to me in a very friendly way that i probably had nothing to worry about, they do this to anyone who falls and hits their head.  and to the nurses and doctor, i tried to thank most of them as many people flitted around my board, but they didn't seem to have time to notice or care really.  i cannot figure out what brings them to do this huge service to countless people hour after hour.

and yes, doctor, i will wear my helmet from now on.  i owe it to all the peeps who went out of their way for me during my ordeal.

i'll be home resting for another couple of days.

- i would like to throw this hefty black metal stapler a good distance or through a window
- i would like to turn down this full time job offer to see their faces
- i would like to eat something other than white rice
- i would like to it to be light outside by the time i leave the house to bike to work
- i would like to be wealthy


the trick to having your every wish come true is to dream the possible.

the trick to getting a lot is to dream FREQUENTLY.  five times a day is a good target.

Current Music: A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes - Cinderella

when the person i am chatting with makes a spelling mistake, and i have occasion to repeat the word back to them, i almost always repeat their spelling.  with intention, but automatically, without thinking.

"i'm affraid to go out there."
"i'm affraid you have to go anyway."

i also like to repeat the words people use back to them, which lends itself to the above technique.

this morning as i crossed the chaudière bridge one of the striking workers outside the war museum asked "can i borrow your klaxonnet?"  i saw another striker coming out of a portable with an armload of multicoloured noisemakers.

dear "striking" museum workers:  if you are coordinating activities with bright toys and using educational terms in both official languages, are you really on strike?

jack breakfast wrote me to tell me his new album is finally finished, and i immediately fell back in love with him.  even after all this time i am still a ridiculous person.

i am now waiting for several things in the mail, including The Escapers by monsieur déjeuner.  anticipation over the mail is more exhausting than other kinds, because you never know whether or not gratification will come, and you always have to wait at least 24 hours between checks.

this week has been kind of magical.  work is tiring and leaves my brain deflated but my lately bicycle feels like it is flying; i have been flying all over town for sewing lessons with liudmila and yoga lessons with kerry and kissing sessions with my sweet baby.  i think in fall i become quite a fast bicycler as it is cold and i try to stay warm by pedaling.  also my muscles seem to have learned a little over the summer, and my ass feels more native to the seat.

last night was math rosen's birthday and i decorated him a cupcat.  i made two cupcats, one for math rosen and one for jesse dangerously who by some large coincidence also had a birthday last night.  the whiskers were white birthday candles.  tonight i'm going to play settlers/ninjas of catan with my big brother (all of my brothers are big, so you will have to guess which one in this case).

overall life is incredibly sweet and most of the time even tolerable. 

i think i'll keep on as i have been and report back again shortly.  if i don't it is because i am busy writing emails in the middle of the night.

COMING SOON: Canadian Association of Brain Analysis and Evaluation - Questionnaire Extraordinaire